nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
