Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
