Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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