I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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