Is it normal to miss your booty call?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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