Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
