There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
