you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
