brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
