Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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