I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
