Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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