I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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