Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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