just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
