So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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