but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I didn't notice because vodka
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
