Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I am midnight drunk by noon
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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