My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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