You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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