Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
