This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Come see our sink grown plant.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
