that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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