But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
