So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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