I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
