Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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