Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
