when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize