You're so nebulous sometimes
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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