hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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