These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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