I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize