Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
