dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
only you would photoshop your dick
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize