i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
