I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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