literally had 100 drinks last night.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
