I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The Olympian is in my bed
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
