For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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