we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
