She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
