please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
