he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
