I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
