none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
