Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize