You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My life is pants optional.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize