i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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