Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
