At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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