Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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