Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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