The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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