Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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