Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
