I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I have aggressive nipples.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize