Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My ass is underappreciated
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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