can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
