She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
