I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
