We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
