She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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