i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize