Me. At least after what I've been through.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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