dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
